God is faithful. He is so faithful. He is good. He is big. His is sovereign. He is constant. He delivers me. He is a cliff cleft for me. I love Him.
My last post was like my final call for help, I was so discouraged and lost. Utterly broken and although I was still calling on God I was just so helpless and ready to give up internally. I was able to talk to my discipler that night and she was able to encourage me in ways I could never have seen. The frustration I felt was the devil working so hard to combat my perseverance and work the Lord was doing through us. I could not overcome him on my own, but I was able to just surrender it all completely to God and let him fight for me. In Him I find my joy, love, strength, and boldness. I was trying so hard to love these people who made me angry on my own and couldn't. And if anyone knows me when I am angry I can't even talk to people. I can only be angry and wallow in it. It's ugly. But God was amazing. I realized just how much bigger he is than our anger, fears, and frustrations. I was putting him in a box and then sat on the box myself!
So the next day I woke up and took a look at what was the next verse in Romans I was studying and applying. Romans 12:14 says "Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them." I had been cursing them inwardly and being hostile. I was not clothed in Christ and even rejected his help. It struck me that morning that God was listening and guiding me, but I hadn't been letting him lead me. The three students from project that work with me prayed very intentionally that morning for God to work through us and, through the Spirit I was able to share the Gospel, which I hadn't done at work yet, before 9 am! It was so awesome! Where there was hardheartedness, rejection, and fear before was replaced with open hearts and the Spirit at work. It was such an encouragement for the rest of the week and God has been an endless presence since then! I just want to shout it from the rooftops how faithful he is! He tells us he is faithful and he provides, yet we are still so hesitant to fully trust in him and surrender control to him. Let God know your heart and your fears and he will show you how much he cares about you! I still can't fathom how he loves me but I just try to press the "I believe" button and know I cannot understand his love entirely. Praise God for his faithfulness!!!!!!
As project winds down we are trying so hard to remain in the present and not worrying about the future. There are still 3 weeks left. God created the Earth and the heavens in 7 days! Imagine what he can do with 21 days if we give that up to him!
Please be in prayer for these things specifically:
-Complete dependence on the Spirit for love, joy, and endurance
-soften the hearts of our coworkers to hearing the Gospel, divine opportunities and the boldness to seize them
-vulnerability as we deepen relationships on project and find people who can point us to Christ in all things
-project outreaches on Saturday: the people we will talk to and what we will say
-Manager's outreach: it is specifically for our managers so we can show them our appreciation and point them to Christ.
-Follow up with our contacts from CRU meetings
Thank you so much for all your prayers and support, they are helping! I can't wait to see how God continues to work this summer!
From McD's...someone asked me for a McCoffee (they meant a chocolate chip frappe) and a McOreo ( meaning an Oreo McFlurry), we told them 'Here is your McOreo' and they laughed :)
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
SOS
I just got off work, one of my most frustrating days yet. Surprisingly it is not the customers which cause the most frustration. It is often my coworkers who are continually bringing me down. From the moment we stepped in I have been seeking to help where ever needed, do what I am told willingly and with a joyful attitude and be polite and respectful. From the beginning I have been in the way, so I have been told. I have yelled at for doing my job and told to say excuse me. If I wasn't saying excuse me and trying to be polite already this wouldn't bother me and I 'd see it a growing opportunity and constructive criticism. However when I do use all of my manners they are disregarded and unheard. And as the cherry on top they, same people who want me to use manners, do not actually use manners themselves.
As an example today i might have been a bit short with a young girl who constantly yells "Hey You!" at me across the store to get my attention as if I know who she is talking to . And I have a headset on that I am trying to listen to. Point is I have no idea you are trying to tell me something if you don't say my name. I told her this in the midst of my frustration.
All of that said, that is what I am personally struggling with at work because this constant yelling and criticism (not constructive) shuts down my joyful, bold, and outgoing attitude. Work is becoming something I loathe and I just want to give up sharing the Gospel. I know that I can't do that and I am spending all of my 30 minute breaks each day praying for a better attitude, to be filled with the spirit, and to love my enemies. The day gets slightly better, but it is seriously damaging my relationships with these people. I just feel in my heart that it is no longer "not personal" and that breaks me. I am failing at serving these people, loving them, and performing on the job. The job itself is not that hard or frustrating its just the attitudes and hate that I am bombarded with over and over again. I need the Holy Spirit to fill me with his love and I need to stop trying to love them with my own strength. If you could be praying for that that would amazing, I have never felt this way before, utterly at a loss for love and strength.
On a different note, last night we had our usual prayer and praise as a project at the beach. As we finished with songs of praise a few girls who were watching the whole time actually walked up and asked to join us! We got their numbers and are inviting them to CRU and hopefully start meeting up with a few of them.
I flew solo on my own follow up meeting last Friday with a girl who has been regularly coming to CRU meetings. It was so great to hear her story and where she was with the Lord, and that she opened up about wanting to give control to Jesus, but unsure how to and how the Spirit works in our lives. I was able to go over a Satisfied booklet with her and can't wait to hear how the Lord has been moving in her heart this week! Thank you Rachel Atwood for preparing me to share that book! I love it and it is one of my favorite tools for talking to believers who want more!
Saturdays are quickly becoming my favorite day of the week as we go out to neighboorhood to teach children the Gospel and show them love or bombard Charleston and Folly Beach the KGP's and testimonies. This Saturday we were in the Battery and Waterfront and really only had 1 conversation with 3 girls here on vacation but it was so encouraging to see them open up so quickly and eagerly listened to a girl's testimony. It can be hard when we don't see them come to Christ, but knowing that God takes care of their hearts and is preparing them to hear the Gospel is so great! All he asks of us is the courage and boldness to step out in faith and share it, he does the rest!
Please continue to keep us in your prayers and thank you for all your support!
As an example today i might have been a bit short with a young girl who constantly yells "Hey You!" at me across the store to get my attention as if I know who she is talking to . And I have a headset on that I am trying to listen to. Point is I have no idea you are trying to tell me something if you don't say my name. I told her this in the midst of my frustration.
All of that said, that is what I am personally struggling with at work because this constant yelling and criticism (not constructive) shuts down my joyful, bold, and outgoing attitude. Work is becoming something I loathe and I just want to give up sharing the Gospel. I know that I can't do that and I am spending all of my 30 minute breaks each day praying for a better attitude, to be filled with the spirit, and to love my enemies. The day gets slightly better, but it is seriously damaging my relationships with these people. I just feel in my heart that it is no longer "not personal" and that breaks me. I am failing at serving these people, loving them, and performing on the job. The job itself is not that hard or frustrating its just the attitudes and hate that I am bombarded with over and over again. I need the Holy Spirit to fill me with his love and I need to stop trying to love them with my own strength. If you could be praying for that that would amazing, I have never felt this way before, utterly at a loss for love and strength.
On a different note, last night we had our usual prayer and praise as a project at the beach. As we finished with songs of praise a few girls who were watching the whole time actually walked up and asked to join us! We got their numbers and are inviting them to CRU and hopefully start meeting up with a few of them.
I flew solo on my own follow up meeting last Friday with a girl who has been regularly coming to CRU meetings. It was so great to hear her story and where she was with the Lord, and that she opened up about wanting to give control to Jesus, but unsure how to and how the Spirit works in our lives. I was able to go over a Satisfied booklet with her and can't wait to hear how the Lord has been moving in her heart this week! Thank you Rachel Atwood for preparing me to share that book! I love it and it is one of my favorite tools for talking to believers who want more!
Saturdays are quickly becoming my favorite day of the week as we go out to neighboorhood to teach children the Gospel and show them love or bombard Charleston and Folly Beach the KGP's and testimonies. This Saturday we were in the Battery and Waterfront and really only had 1 conversation with 3 girls here on vacation but it was so encouraging to see them open up so quickly and eagerly listened to a girl's testimony. It can be hard when we don't see them come to Christ, but knowing that God takes care of their hearts and is preparing them to hear the Gospel is so great! All he asks of us is the courage and boldness to step out in faith and share it, he does the rest!
Please continue to keep us in your prayers and thank you for all your support!
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